Good Stuff...!!

Mangalore- Maryland -Mangalore...

Does this sound familiar? In the past few months...,life seemed extremely stressful, purposeless.Relationships are a challenge, I was helpless, angry, dissatisfied. I was in a disastrous state mentally and physically..! In the pretext of tying loose ends, I was trying to end the beginnings. Settling the accounts with people, emptying the wardrobe, clearing the stuff, good,bad, wanted or unwanted. Empty handed, empty hearted.. am I punishing or am I peaceful was what I was not able to assess! Life in general no one in particular has made this change in me I guess, and so I was not blaming any one nor coming out of it.., till I was blown by something more wicked.The wicked thing can be as bad as common cold! When it hits you with full force,you look back to those terrible times..!The times I was experiencing just a few days ago don't seem that bad any more ! All I wanted was the cold to go away and me to be normal ! I was seeing the more real things lined up for me to the stuff which was also real but can "stall" for a while! Reality makes you see the brighter side of it. Those things were also real, and these feelings are also real! I just need to prioritise the situations,that's all! In the airport I end up in an argument with the guy who is refusing to give just an Isle seat( which was rightfully mine..,already blocked by me), instead suddenly offered to upgrade me to business class of course for some money I needed to shell out..what do I see but the brighter side of it..!The cold winds of Maryland did not bother me much, coming from the May heat of Mangalore.This is what I was missing and craving for, this is what I wanted, no??As I decide to take one day at a time, and see the brighter side of life..every morning seems to be new..all things nice. Good stuff every where! I try not to complain! Try to listen to music from the silence! Fresh flowers, candies, sun, sand, water, air...just perfect! Every meal.. Mexican, Japanese,Cuban,or home cooked..njoyed...good or bad, does it matter? Its not the only meal or the last one..is what I felt. Maryland or Miami, Atlanta, Savannah,Boston or New york..I was keen to meet people I have known and loved. Great to see them as they are, not what I wanted them to be or what I thought they are going to be!Had fun simply watching the crowd in busy malls, not buying a single thing! Was stunned at the beauty around, was shocked at the facts I was not aware of! I felt It is OK,..if I am sad. It is OK, if I am hurt!After all did I ever complain when I was happy and cheerful? Gulping my ego,swallowing my tears gave me an immense calmness!Spending the money for a meal or for means made me happy.I am doing it for my loved ones! There is no rush in the waiting queues nor restlessness due to the delayed schedules. Of course the Brighter side of everything in life gave me strength to go on, and that's what I saw, in a loved ones rejection for chocolates or an outburst for attention! We all either out grow or grow up! I have to accept! My project in mind is to see the good stuff..! Am I Happy ??I cant say!.."unhappy" I am not, is all that I can say! Have I changed? No,..my eyes say..I just compromised! How long I can go on this way I don't know, but as of now what I see I believe..and all I see is what I want to see..Just Good stuff!