Mangalore2013
"This lady is my mother in law", was my first expression when I met her. She was good looking, young.. unlike the fat old ladies I saw in movies. I was in my teens, and due to our positions and age differences I had no much interest to know her. I am sure nor she was in me! My married life started of by living together with my in laws! Though I came from a so called 5 kids and parents that is 7 member family..I still consider it as small family! My child hood was with out much of relatives or cousins.., in far away places. From there to Mangalore the core of our community!! My new family, very well known in the city, had Umpteen number of friends, relatives, cousins, uncles, aunts, grand moms, the list goes on...! Never ending social life and endless fun was the specialty of my new family.! My mother in law balanced it very well, and loved entertaining them all. I was not use to all this, so after my initial shock of seeing and getting used to, I do not know when and how I got sucked in to all these bonds. Guided and molded by the family/ especially her, slowly but definitely! Like every mother in law and daughter in law, we took a while to adjust and to understand each other. WE had our ups and downs, lows and highs. I am glad she never said I am like her daughter nor I called her my mom. She was good to me, and treated me well, and I too understood the need of this person in my life, and exchanged the same. Our bonding started slowly, and steadily went on to be strong. There was understanding , mutual respect, dependency, most importantly love. There were times we must have been upset and irritated with each other or may be wanted to go under the earth to escape..but there never was major show down. We some how balanced it well over the years.we started getting comfort in each others company! some where we influenced each others lives, and shared our worries. Guidance or advice, was never too obvious between us, so we accepted when it was needed, or left it to fate! She gave me all the respect I should have gotten as a daughter in law, and that mattered to me. She loved me for what I am as a person, and that was enough for me. Her seniority won my trust and then my love for her became natural. All grand parents dot on their grand kids but she was super special....She unconditionally loved both my kids, and supported them in what ever they did. She appreciated what ever i dished out on a plate from my imagination! I was equally taken for her positive spirits, at all times! Humor was her forte, and that made life easy for all of us! In our long association She learnt some things from me,which she was happy about, and some of her qualities were rubbed on to me, for which I thank God! Her all time high was when I was working in USA. If with out her support I would not have done what I did, that is starting a new life in a different country,..she would say I made her dream come true, that is having a place of ours in that country for her to stay as long as she wanted. Her stay with us was blissful since that was what she always wished for! Respected and loved by one and all as Sunithakka,Sunith mai, Sunitha Aunty, Amma, mamama, anama or simply Veenamma. Lot of water flown and she has seen 4 generations of people. She had huge family from both sides and no family event was complete with out her presence or involvement. Dynamic, graceful, talented, humble, warm and smart, sharp but soft..always wanted to do more and experience more..nothing was enough not because she was greedy but because she was vibrant! A very colorful personality always knew how to enjoy life! Age and ill health., sufferings and misery taking all in her stride..she left this world.., on the 29th September! Not just like that, but paying all her dues, i guess! With the help of God I am sure of that, even the time came at her own will..! Holding her hand or sitting besides her, I do not know how much comfort I was able to give her till her last. I felt good doing that and being with her, and that mattered to me. she did not deserve So much suffering, so much agony was what I always felt when I use to watch her silently. I am sure she understood that I cared for her and loved her, and that she is the best mother in law I could have asked for. The gaps and void created by her will be irreplaceable in my life. As my nephew rightly said she truly was one of her kind..!" Mai this post of mine is a tribute to you. Love you, Miss you! ..May your soul rest in peace."
Epilogue(inner most thought)......WE all come to existence live our lives and depart. Unless we are Popular and well known for our deeds or famous in some way ,.. most of us live and leave almost the same way! Amongst the common and ordinary you stood out with Adoration, adulation, where every one who met you had a good word or a nice say about you. This is true and Blessed are you!
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